My anaconda don’t want none unless you got
different types of drunks
1. Party Drunk:
- will talk to anyone and everyone
- only does shots
- has to literally be dragged home at the end of the night because they refuse to acknowledge that the party has ended and they’re the only person still there
2. Blissful Drunk
- does nothing but laugh
- just happy to be included
- too good for this world
- loves you so much even though they just met you four minutes ago
- probably also does acid
3. Emotional Drunk
- not great at parties
- is either crying tears of sorrow bc there’s no chips left or crying tears of gratitude bc someone showed them where the bathroom is
- brings out everyone’s inner mother
4. Parent Drunk
- keeps everyone’s shit together
- everyone thinks they’re sober but they’ve actually had 5 shots in an hour
- knows when u need to go home and will make sure you get there
- holds back your hair when you’re vomiting at 3am
5. Slutty Drunk
- never gets cold
- makeup never smudges
- never has to buy their own drinks
- you think they’re sloppy and have no idea what they’re doing but every move is calculated and intentional
6. Sloppy Drunk
- wasted by 10pm
- needs to be taken home early
- will drink anything you give them as long as there’s alcohol in it
- a Mess
- never learns from their mistakes
vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special
nancynopants